The Daily Blade: Joby Martin & Kyle Thompson

#213 - Joby Martin // How Men Show Value: Ephesians 5 Applied

Season 1 Episode 213

We break down Ephesians 5 with a straight call to husbands: love your wives as Christ loved the church. We outline how to show value with boundaries, words, time and attention, and we dare you to ask the hard question and listen without defense.

• The sword of the Spirit and equipping men
• Reading Ephesians 5:21–33 and its charge to husbands
• The respect–value loop at the root of conflict
• The no‑compete clause and sexual purity
• Speaking life and removing destructive words
• Time as proof of value and focused attention
• Keep dating your wife with intentional pursuit
• The dangerous question and accountable leadership

Before you go, if you want to help equip other men for the fight, share this podcast around and leave us a five star rating and review


Support the show

Want to connect? Email communication@coe22.com

SPEAKER_00:

Welcome to the Daily Blade. The Word of God is described as the sword of the Spirit, the primary spiritual weapon in the Christian's armor against the forces of evil. Your hosts are Joby Martin and Kyle Thompson, and they stand ready to equip men for the fight. Let's sharpen up.

SPEAKER_01:

All right, boys. Welcome to day five, the final day that we're going to dive into Ephesians chapter five. We'll read the whole thing again just as a reminder, beginning in verse 21. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. We're going to skip over the wife part because that's not for us. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of the water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church. Because we are members of his body, therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ in the church. Verse thirty-three. He's going to repeat himself. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Okay. So you want respect, right? I get it. We all want respect. You know what she wants? She wants love. And the way that a man demonstrates love to a woman is this at the core of every woman, she has this fundamental question Am I lovely or am I valuable? And so your job, fellas, is to show value to your wife. You see, every marriage problem boils down to this. I don't care if it's major or minor, every time you are sideways, every time you are in a ditch in your marriage, it's because this, fellas, you feel disrespected and she feels devalued. Now, here's what it means to value your wife. Just a few ideas. Number one, that she gets a no-compete clause. That's right. That when you say I do to her, you're saying I don't to every other woman on the planet. That means no flirting, that means no pictures, that means no porn, that means no old phone numbers, that means no private text. This is a no compete clause. Kyle talked about this several weeks ago when he was talking about the qualifications of an elder, that an elder, a godly man, is a one-woman man. Like when Adam cleaved unto Eve, God did not give him a lineup of women, and then he chose from them that he got a wife, and she was his standard of beauty. So your wife gets a no-compete clause, no flirting, no talking to any other woman or pictures of women or anything like that. Secondly, is that we value our wives with our words. Do you speak life into your wife? Do you compliment her? Do you value her? Do you brag on her? Do you compliment her? Do you correct her? What do you do with your words? You see, some of the reasons that your marriages are in the ditch is because you put it there with your words. You've spoken death over your marriage. Another way that you can value your wife is with your time. That you can spend time with your wife. Listen, you will find enough time to spend on what you find most valuable. Also, another way to value your wife is with your attention and your energy. Please don't treat her like a big game hunt. And what I mean is a lot of times guys treat their marriage like a big elk hunt. Like you prepare for it, you pursue it, you study it, you stalk it, and then one day you bag it and then you just take the mount, put it on the wall, and ignore it the rest of your life. No, no, no. Listen, you remember the game that you had when you got her to go out with you? You know, I know you were a few pounds, you know, less than you are now, and you were just trying to get her to say yes and say, I do, but you did the thing, man. You called her, you texted her, you would go pick her up, you would take her out to dinner, you would flirt with her, keep dating your wife. And the reason is because what you do is you are loving your wife by showing her value. Now I'm going to dare you to ask a very dangerous question to your wife. I dare you today to go sit with her eyeball to eyeball, knee to knee, put the phones down, turn the TV off, and ask her, say, baby, do you feel valued by me? And initially she's gonna be like, Yeah, I know you love me or whatever, but I want you to say, no, no, no, listen, in my heart, I value you, I love you. But do you feel loved and valued by me? And then I and then I want you to just be quiet and receive the answer. Maybe you could ask a follow-up question, how can I show you value? And then, and then just do what she says. And I know we've talked about this before. Oftentimes what we do as men is we begin to think, yeah, but she's not. Well, listen, man, you're not gonna be held accountable for what she does or does not do. That's between her and the Lord in regards to y'all's relationship. But what you are accountable is to how you treat your wife. And that we are to let each one of you love your wife as himself. That means you value her like Christ pursued you. Husbands, love your wives.

SPEAKER_00:

Amen. Thank you for listening to today's episode. Before you go, if you want to help equip other men for the fight, share this podcast around and leave us a five star rating and review. Stay sharp.

Podcasts we love

Check out these other fine podcasts recommended by us, not an algorithm.