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All right, welcome back to day two on our deep dive of what it means to be a godly husband, Ephesians 5.21. The Bible says, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. So then it's going to spend several verses talking about how wives are to live that out, and then it's going to spend several verses talking to husbands about how to live it out. But before it does that, it says that basically a good marriage is that of mutual submission, that we're to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. And essentially what it means to mutually submit is just you make somebody else's deal a bigger deal than your deal. In fact, if you've ever had a really good friendship, this is the bedrock of a good friendship. That you're not in it for yourself, but a really good friendship is built on mutual submission. And so a really good marriage is built, first and foremost, on a really good friendship. It's not built on finances, it's not built on sex, it's not built on romance, it's built on Christ, and we mutually submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. In fact, this might throw, especially some of you old heads off, a good marriage is not even based on commitment. I know you're going to hear that, you know, love is not a feeling and it's all about commitment. No, no, man. Commitment is a byproduct of the fact that you have been saved or deemed by the gospel, that you have covenanted with somebody to spend your life with them till death do you part. But if you want a good marriage and not simply an enduring marriage, then you don't simply commit to the marriage. No, no, no, no, no. It's rooted in mutual submission to that individual person. Because you're not married to marriage, you're married to that person. Philippians 2 gives us some ink on what it means to be submitted, on what it means to treat other people as if their deal is a bigger deal than your deal. Philippians chapter 2 says this. So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy. In other words, Paul's saying, if you are a Christian at all and you think Christ has done anything for you at all, then verse 2, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. And now, in other words, in the context of marriage, this means that you are one. Verse 3, do nothing from selfish ambition or vain conceit. You get that? Do nothing from selfish ambition or vain conceit. In your marriage, do nothing from selfish ambition or vain conceit. Let me ask you this. Do you give in order to get? Like in your marriage, are you keeping score? In your marriage, do you find yourself saying, Well, I pay all the bills and I make all the money, so since I provide this kind of life for her, she ought to give me sex and sandwiches. Don't do that. That's what the Bible says. Let me ask you this. Are you selfish? I mean, seriously, are you selfish? Is it all about you? Because he says, Do nothing from selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility, count others, in this case your wife, as more significant than yourself. That you treat her as if she is more significant than you. Verse 4, he says, Let each of you look not only to his own interest, but also to the interest of others. Now let me ask you, do you think first about how to get what you want or how to give her what she needs? And you may say, Well, Pastor, how far do I take this? Well, I'm really glad you asked. Because I know some of you are like, Yeah, but if I treat her as more important than me, then what if I get taken advantage of? And what if she doesn't return the favor? Well, I've got, I don't know if this is good or bad news, but you should take it as far as Jesus took it towards you. Verse 5, the Bible says, Have this attitude among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus. The New International Version says that your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus, and he took it all the way to the cross. Verse 6, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but he emptied himself by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men and being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore, God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee shall bow in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father. So, how far did Jesus take this humility? All the way to being obedient to death on the cross. So here's what you need to do. You need to go home, first and foremost, probably apologize, say that you are sorry for being selfish. Second, you are to ask your wife, how can I help you? How can I serve you? And then, just like Jesus dressed himself in the form of a servant and served us as the church, then you are to treat your wife as if she is more important, more valuable, more significant than you, and serve her wants and needs. Come back tomorrow for more.

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